EVILed

Had this discussion about ‘crossroad’ yesterday, she claimed to get stuck in this junction in life where a damn hard decision has to be made in order to proceed. I believe decisions are hard to make sometimes, it kinda shape one’s life. This topic kinda backfired at me, pointing out that how bad I was in making decisions; I’m living a life which is quite screwed up actually, rather than giving a damn what would be the consequences, I made them blindly and accepting what charges towards me openly. At least I’m taking the expressway, only drawback is I don’t know where that will take me. Question like if I reject another job offer will I be on my way to permanently screw up my life? I know better offers are still out there and they are up for grab, but as long as this better offer existed there will be absolutely no best offer right?

I guess I’m just too afraid to admit that I get chickened out whenever I think of accepting any offers. They look like an invisible lock that bind you to a big tree. Anyway, Im quite happy with what i’ve got now, but when i tell my mom i will be working next month as a desk support she’s like.. ‘oh, okay.. the title doesnt sound right. it sound so cheap’..
I was like so speechless, but to think of taking the job it really comes with some drawbacks.

First its a 2 years contract, means fixed salary and no increment or whatsoever within 2 years. Then there goes your hope to get promoted cuz you basically not entitled for that, unless you’re damn good they give you another offer to become one of their permanent staff, talkin bout 2 layer of barriers to promotion. 3rd, not much technical skills involved here, just have to read the manual, understand the manual and some big shot customer call you just have to get them thru the problems they’re facing.

There might no turning point here cuz contract has been signed, with a 2 months notice if i wanna quit or somthing. The SAP training will be starting soon, just hope the training will change this altogether. It will change everything, or nothing. Whichever it is, its still good. At the very least I’m not jobless.